Friendship.

“I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff." - Jon Katz

To the friends that stuck by me until now, to the friends I have lost, to the friends that I have found, to the friends that showed me so many things, to the friends that made me laugh and smile, to the friends that watched me cry, to the friends that listened, to the friends that never left, to the friends that cared, to the friends that felt my pain and sorrow, to the friends that made me happy and lastly, to the friends that have shaped me for who I am today.

Thank you.

Excuses.

We always end up finding excuses for everything. In essence, excuses are what we use when we want to avoid something.

It really frustrates me as a person when I make excuses for everything, and it's not because I'm a coward, it's because I tend to look at the past and the amount of things I've done wrong in it. It's not because I don't have the courage to do things, but it get's tiring knowing that there's a risk of history repeating itself.

Why must we make excuses? Do excuses even get us anywhere? Is it the fact that it's so easy to make an excuse because we simply want to avoid the situation?

1. We make excuses because sometimes, it's easier that way. We simply want to avoid whatever it is because it just makes life easier. Even though deep down, it really is the easy way out of things, I guess it's purely because people are scared or are anxious to see what the outcome is if they do stop making excuses.
2. Excuses really don't get us anywhere. They really don't. It's like a form of procrastination. You're just wasting time and if anything, would you really get anywhere if all you ever did was avoid something you knew that was going to happen anyway? If it keeps crossing your mind every second of the day, do something about it. It's better to actually do something than contemplate on what actions to do next because contemplating can only go so far with thinking. 
3. Yes. It's easy to make an excuse to avoid a situation. So easy. But then again, once we make an excuse, we all know that it'll just keep chasing us like a hungry dog unless we do something about it.

The problem is, I make excuses when I'm driven by fear. I overanalyse, I'm a thinker. I like to question things and why they are happening. I hesitate when I do something without thinking because sometimes, we all need to think before we act.

But then again, there are situations in life where you are required to do things rather than just sit there and think about the pros and cons. What use is it when you just sit there and think because in reality, it's just wasting time if you don't act on what you know.

So in all honesty, don't be afraid to actually stop making excuses. You never really know where things take you once you actually have the courage to face something you've been avoiding for a long time.

Flaws.

I don't understand how people can blame others for their flaws. Is it because they think they know what's best? Or is it because we fail to read between the lines of who that person really is? 

I must admit, that I do have flaws in myself. But having these flaws does not necessarily define me as a person. Flaws are what makes us imperfect and yes, in the past, present and future we have made or will make mistakes - but at the end of the day, do you really ask yourself, are the flaws in myself affecting another person's life? Should I try and better myself so that having these imperfections will protect my loved ones from getting hurt?

The answer is no. Without our flaws, our existence would be meaningless in the first place. We need our flaws so that we can have qualities in ourselves that we and other people like. We shouldn't be too critical about who we are because in the end, the only person that can define yourself is you.

You shouldn't let other people criticise yourself just because you have all these flaws. You are the only person that can judge that criteria. How are they any better if they can't look at themselves and admit their flaws too?

Nonetheless, we are only human and perfection will always be beyond our reach. Flaws are always going to be a part of who we are, but this shouldn't be the reason why we should dislike ourselves. I've learnt that it is important to realise that we should be thankful for the good qualities we have as people. We shouldn't let our flaws affect our own perception of ourselves. 

Love who you are because at the end of the day, the way you treat yourself will affect how other people will treat you. 

Life.

What is life? Why are we here? What makes us live in the first place and why do we exist?

There are many unanswered questions about life and I question sometimes about my own existence. Some people believe in Science or Creationism. Some people believe that they were reincarnated. But the main question is, are we living life?

I have had many terrible days in my life, and I must say, it hasn't been easy going through all of it. I am guilty to admit that I have been overdramatic, complained and have had incredibly uneasy thoughts about life, but who hasn't? It's so easy to say that to live a fulfilling life, we must treat every day like it is our last time on Earth but do we ever? No.

If we were to treat every day as our last, we would be travelling around the world, spending our last days with our loved ones and appreciating every single minute of what we have left, but sadly, we don't do this. There are times in our life where things get hard and no matter what we do, it can't change the bad that has been impacted in our lives. There are people out there that struggle to live with what they have and there are also people that complain that they don't have enough of what they have.

As bad as it seems, there is a lot of suffering out there in the world, for example,  people out there that are homeless and have no access to proper food and water. Sadly enough, there are also people that have everything on a silver platter.

I wish life were that easy but it's not and you either have to deal with it or complain about the shitty aspects of your life. To be honest, we all deal with shitty stuff and that's not a surprise. But sometimes, it really really is annoying when people constantly complain about their life and don't do anything about it. They just complain and expect that life will turn out the way they want it to be in the end. But seriously, does life ever negotiate that way? Unless you do something about the problems you have, you're not going to go anywhere.

It's because we're so caught up and are driven by the positives of life, it motivates us to keep thinking that life is good. But when we're faced with some sort of conflict/ordeal, we go psycho like a bunch of baboons and are lost with the routine of life being good again. Life is unfair and sometimes I really wish it wasn't.

There are also people out there suffering when they don't even deserve it in the first place, which makes me question, why are they getting punished if they are good people? What did they deserve to experience something like that?  Life is too short to complain about the shitty choices you've made, the regrets you've dealt with and the amount of sadness you have undergone in life. If things don't go your way, don't make it seem like a huge problem, just deal with it and you'll be fine. Going through a lot does not define you as a strong person because to be honest, I believe it all depends on how much you can handle at what life throws at you. It's not about making it out alive but realising that the world isn't such a bad place.

It's never too late to be thankful for what you have. 

Stupidity.

Don't get me wrong, I've done stupid things in my life but isn't it annoying when you have to deal with people's stupidity all the time? Well... maybe not all the time, but a continuous cycle of people's drama when really, it's something really small and insignificant. We never realise we're stupid until we ourselves find out how and why we are stupid in the first place. 

I guess in the real world, we all start off as stupid because we have no knowledge about life experiences. But like they say, with great knowledge comes great power but not everyone has the capacity to think on their own sometimes. I think it's really stupid if people are constantly blaming everyone for their own actions. It's ridiculous sometimes that people are often too ignorant to realise that the choices that they have made had consequences to begin with. It's even more stupid when people blame others for spreading the "bad news" about them because of what they did.

To be honest, all I can really say is, grow the fuck up. No one was holding your hand when you made the choice, it was your own actions that produced the consequences, it was your fault. No one should take responsibility of your own actions because that would be stupid. If you were mature enough to handle what was being passed on by other people, you would deal with it, not whinge about it. But honestly, what can you change from doing something stupid? 

1. Technically, you can't really change what you did because now it's part of the past, so moving on would be a logical step.
2. Don't whinge about it. Just don't. You'll make it even more of a big deal and people will just lose respect for you. If you were mature enough, you'd accept what you've done and have actually learnt from your stupidity. 
3. Don't repeat history. This absolutely pisses me off. If you knew that it was stupid, then why the fuck would you go back and repeat the same mistake? "You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, It's not a mistake, It's a choice.

How I see it? I see stupidity as a type of alcohol. Some people are too drunk from it and the only way that they could sober up is when they actually realise their being stupid and actually find a way to change that. 

Masks.

Why do people wear masks? That is the question. It's a question I have been asking for years ever since I knew what wearing a mask meant. I don't mean it in a literal sense, but, I just find it interesting that everyone has something to hide nowadays and it's sad to say that it usually happens to the happiest people. 


You can tell someone is wearing a mask when they always appear to be happy. Always. You never see them cry, you never hear them say anything about their problems, you never see them express their sorrows, ever. I just find it frustrating sometimes because I wish people were more open about how they felt. I guess sometimes, we are ashamed of expressing how we feel and we have difficulty explaining what we are feeling. 


Masks are so easy to put on because the last thing someone wants is another person worrying about them and how they are. From personal experience, I've been pushed away by people who have been upset and no, I wasn't angry by it because it made me see that they needed space. Sometimes, wearing a mask is what we do to survive.


But then again, who am I to judge what the person has gone through? I don't know people's pasts back-to-front, I don't know their journey, so who I am to question why they have that mask on in the first place?


I sometimes wish I had the ability to see through masks. I really do. People you know might be crying for help, yet you don't even realise through their smile and laugh. It's sad isn't it? As I said before, there is a part of ourselves that we will always keep hidden from other people, and that part of us will never be shared.

Wearing a mask isn't so bad, but it get's tiring for people. Masks shouldn't have to be used on a daily basis because let's face it, being real is something we all need to do at some point in our lives. We can't fake our way through life and expect good things coming our way because our purpose to live would be to lie. 


We're all humans and our life isn't always going to be perfect, so don't be afraid to have that cry once in a while. Don't be afraid to share how you truly feel to someone because hiding the pain is much more painful than sharing the pain.

Taking Chances.

I don't know why people hesitate when taking chances. It's maybe because fear is the only reason holding them back. We have chances and opportunities waiting out there for us and it's really up to us to take that extra step forward. We never realise how chances are always within our reach, it's just that we hesitate before making a decision. It's true because we sometimes hold back from making a decision  with the risks associated with taking that chance. There are people that are born as risk-takers and there are also people that stay in their comfort zone. We're all different from one another, and that's okay.

Yes, taking chances come with risks, but at the end of the day, you learn from experiencing and taking opportunities. Life is full of learning, I don't mean in an academic sense, but we as humans always learn from a day-to-day basis. We learn that sometimes taking chances isn't such a bad thing, and even if it were, we'd still learn from it. It's not so much risking everything for just that chance, but it's the ability to make the decision of taking that chance in the first place. Making decisions can be very hard for some people, but sometimes, we just need to let-loose of the possibilities and go out there without thinking so much.

So don't be afraid to take a chance. I know it's clichė to say that but it's amazing how much you learn along the way. We only live once, so make the most of the chances out there for you. Don't be afraid of what's at stake because you never really know what you're in for unless you try.

Music and Lyrics.

Ever had those days where a particular song you listen to, takes you back to a trip down memory lane? I sometimes hate songs like that, especially when there's memories where you want to forget. But deep down, you won't forget how much that particular event made you feel. This is why sometimes we get attached to songs that remind us how we feel.

This month marked the 2nd year anniversary of my cousin's death whom I lost from suicide. I remember one night I decided to catch up on YouTube and one of my favourite bands, Boyce Avenue posted up a song called 'Briane'. Like any assumption I could've made, I thought it was going to be a song about love and boy, was I wrong.

The story behind the song literally made me cry. I didn't know what to think at that moment because I was fine when the anniversary of my cousin passed. I was unsure why I was crying until I realised why this song meant so much to me. Even though I already realised what I was feeling, I knew there was a special connection I had with the song. I believed that the lyrics could have been something he would've said to the people he loved before he went. It was just so hard for me to listen to without crying. I actually couldn't take it anymore so after I listened to that song, I just went to bed just thinking about what I just listened to.

I generally don't like sharing anything with anyone especially when it comes to my problems. Most of my friends know what I've gone through and there are times where I wish people had the time to just sit and exchange their life stories with one another. Unfortunately, not many people are open about many things that have happened in their lives and this is why this isn't possible.

If we're lucky enough, a song can explain what you exactly feel. You can play any song and that could be your life story. It can describe your journey, and what you've been through. It can be a past time memory where you want to share with someone. It can be about anything that is related to your present moment/situation. 


Songs just become a part of you. It's as simple as that. I think it is absolutely beautiful that we have music. Music is something I would die without, it is like my form of oxygen. I'm sure that all of you have particular songs that take you back to memory lane. They make you feel something special that no other song can. It's extraordinary how music captivates a person and changes the way they feel. Music will always be there for you. Never doubt that it isn't because it always will be.

Insecurities.

We all have them. They are the things that make us uncomfortable, they are the things that keep our guard up and most of all, they are the things that we know, that other people don't . It's safe to say that there are people out there that feel insecure about many things and use their past as an excuse for everything. The question is, why would anyone use their past as an excuse for their insecurities? The answer is fear.

We are all programmed to be scared and frightened and that's okay. This is what makes us human and how we always yearn for some sort of perfection in our lives. We all desire for life to run smoothly but reality is, life is always going to be good and bad. You can't always be too optimistic or pessimistic about life because at the end of the day, you are making the choice of how you want to live it. 

People get anxious when they are faced with something unfamiliar and this can cause their insecurities to come into play. For example, do you remember when you first went into High School? The transition between Primary School and High School can be pretty challenging for some. I remember being so scared on my first day. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, I was in a school full of strangers and the environment was all new to me. I hesitated because I began questioning if I was a person that would make new friends, I started to have doubts about my first day and already, I was feeling insecure about myself. 

People sometimes feel that they are out-of-place and don't belong with their insecurities. For people that let their insecurities in the way, they are usually withdrawn and conservative from what they share with other people. The fear of rejection, the fear of mistrust and the fear of history repeating itself. This is what makes us scared sometimes, this why we keep things to ourselves because we have stories that will remain untold.

Although, sharing some parts of your life journey to someone isn't so bad. There are some aspects of yourself where you'd like to keep open and some where you'd like to keep closed. But in order to trust others, you need to learn to trust yourself. You shouldn't be ashamed of your insecurities at all but if you think they play a major role in your life, don't let it. Life is full of risks and from this we will continue to learn and grow from what we have gone through. The things that challenged us and made us who we are.  We shouldn't let our insecurities "protect" us because sometimes, we need to open up our guard. This is what makes us real.

Welcome Note.

I would like to cordially invite you to my amazing mind. Enjoy!